yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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