his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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