it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
