So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
