I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I party with great urgency now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
