turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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