what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
