All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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