Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
