We need to rekindle our bromance
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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