all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
50% drunk capacity currently
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
