Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize