I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
