Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize