I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
