oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
