Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love having hate sex.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
