Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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