well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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