quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
there is glitter all over my balls
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
