where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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