Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
