After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
