he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
