I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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