I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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