I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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