You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
