Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
