? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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