I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
