So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize