Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
