btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't turn off my feet"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
