We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Come on in and take your pants off
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