For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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