I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
