So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
