Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
