Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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