so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
