I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize