I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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