before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
