All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
