I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
