Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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