I need help removing her.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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