One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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