just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
