Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
