i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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