I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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