so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize