if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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