hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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