Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
