You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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