im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize