apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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