I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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