Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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